I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
