i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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