I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
