I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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