Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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