oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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