You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
