Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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