Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
