I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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