So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
