we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
