Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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