I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
