I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
