ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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