They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
