Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I'm really busy with my period
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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