The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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