I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize