After last night, I could never be a politician.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize