i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
