Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
