all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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