would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
It's never too late to be topless.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
