i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
