I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
