u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Randomize
