and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
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You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
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The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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