Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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