you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
