I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
we have pet lesbian snakes
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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