just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The Olympian is in my bed
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
