I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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