Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
