Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
