So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
