we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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