That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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