He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Randomize
