I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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