he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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