you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
