Walk of Shame. In a state park.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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