woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
