Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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