well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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