I didn't shave. On purpose
lets start a swedish sibling band together
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Randomize
