Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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