and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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