; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Randomize
