It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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