i think my tv is drunk
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
it's like iHOP with fire
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
