I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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