i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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