I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
