I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
