Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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