I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
